Esperanza Christmas Show

Christmas Show tomorrow night! 

at the Capri Theatre 

7pm

10$ 

Great Great Great Bands!

Great friends and company. 

I can't wait to see your pretty faces there!

Happy Wednesday Morning

Good morning Wednesday. I've noticed in the past few months, that my usual 2 cups of black coffee every morning just doesn't do the job like it use to... what is wrong with me? Anyways, this week has been incredibly busy. I have a test today at 2, my color theory project is due tomorrow at 8, I've got beer and pizza night with Emily, I need to exercise this week, I've got a psych lab tomorrow at 1, brunch at 11 with Misha and Sarah, and I'm going home on Friday. I can't wait to go to work on Saturday. Literally, can't wait. I miss work so much at home. Work= New clothes! Yay. It only takes me about 2 and a half hours to get home, it's the perfect time for me to let everything out.. think about everything.. plan everything.. oh I can't wait for this holiday. It's going to be great. I've got to get a work on painting more, I have a series due the week after Thanksgiving. I'm incredibly behind and I have to have them finished and perfect before Christmas break. I'm nervous about exams, I suck at tests.. literally. It's a really amazing day outside, it's cloudy.. and chilly.. I love days like today. Just slow and happy. Wish me luck on my test today, I need to do well. I'll write more later on in the week when I gain the time.

Happy Holidays.

What a week, man.. what a week. I'm sitting in this uncomfortable chair about to go walk outside for a quick second then head to bed so I can wake up early and study. I am so unprepared it's not even funny. And I really need to do well on this test. Awesome kate. This past week has been really tough on me mentally. I had a great, beautiful friend commit suicide last Sunday. So ever since Sunday I've pretty much been a wreck. I drove down to Florence, MS for the funeral on Thursday. It was so tough to sit through, probably one of the hardest events I've ever had to go to. But right now I'm just trying to get my life back on track and my mental state back. I'm still not there yet. I've been trying to study all day and just can't. I can't get focused, I don't know what my deal is. I am so so so busy this week. I'm coming home next weekend to work and then its Thanksgiving. Ugh I need a break, but I also wish I had more time to complete everything I need to get done this week. I'm stressed and overwhelmed already and it's only 11:48 on Sunday night. This always happens around the same time of each month, when all my tests and projects are due. Then adding on the tough week of last week, its just a lot to handle. Geez. Well regardless, I am going to pray that I keep my sanity this week and try really hard not to waste time, like i usually do.. pretty much like I've done all night and I'm doing now. Anyways, I'm getting sleepy and I need to wake up early to study. I will write more later, but just filling you beautiful ones who do read my blog. I love you Fredric Isaac Taylor, rest in peace. You are a beautiful soul, and now you are free. I love you. 

12:23 Tuesday Night, Chilllyyy

I can't believe it's already Wednesday. This week has flown by. Literally. I'm actually quite busy this week and was running around the whole day today. Tomorrow I've got to wake up early and do sketches and then class, then drinks with Misha. I've got to wake up for coffee and get back to my space and get everything done before my painting class. I'm at a friends house right now, my room has ants. Ugh. I'm in this huge bed and it's wonderful. This weekend was great, maybe could have done without some events that occurred Saturday night but things happen.. it's fine. I love Halloween, I think it may be my favorite holiday. I was a cheerleader and succeeded. I wore my mother's high school cheerleading uniform that had an itchy wool sweater to match, I rocked it. I think. Anyways, looking forward to this weekend. It's going to be great fun. Wednesday will be a good day. I'm sick with a cold, and I really really do not want to go to the doctor. I despise going to doctor's offices. So I'm hoping my 1.eating fruit 2. drinking orange juice 3. sleeping 4. taking medicine 5. drinking lots of water.... - will cure my cold. But I still am coughing uncontrollably at night and in the mornings. :( 

I want to get well please. Please. 

Alright. Sleepy eyes. Will write more once I am awake with coffee in my system. 

Sweet dreams.

My hair smells like you. I don't know how I feel about that. I just ate a delicious banana in my painting class. Within the last 20 min, I learned so much about what I want in life and what I want to do in school. Being an art major is difficult in a lot of aspects dealing with life. But it also is the best. I hope everything works out this summer/fall. Alright, I'll be back. Working on color theory project tonight, sushi later, then maybe wine and talk? 

Not sure.

I'm ready to sleep in on Saturday. Sleep Sleep Sleep. 

What a night, ugh. Miserable. I hate panic attacks.. if you don't get them.. be glad. Worst experience to go through. Hey Knowlton Bourne, I miss hanging out with you.

I'm

 the absolute best procrastinator. THE BEST. I WIN I WIN!

I'm tired. I need to do Color Theory. I'm tired. I'm tired.

Shower soon. Shower Shower Shower. 

What is wrong with me today? I'm all over the place. 

Last night I kept thinking I was going to get sick, so any place I tried to sleep I would feel uncomfortable. So my best bet last night was falling asleep in a chair next to the sink in the kitchen. Then took some stomach medicine that my good friend Adam brought me (at 2:15 am) and finally fell asleep on a bed upstairs. It was not a good night, needless to say. 

Rachel Zoe, come back on. You were the only show I watched at Jane Anne's condo. Come back. Come back. 

I would love to take my birthday money and buy some new clothes. But I can't. I'm just going to wait till Christmas for that, I need to buy a camera. I've been talking about buying one for 

months now and I've put it off long enough. 

I've drank Champagne the past two weekends.

Look at who I got to 

dog-sit this weekend. :)

Little cutie. Barks a shit ton, but he's a cutie, little fluff ball.

Sunday So Cold

Cold Cold cold. YES

Coffee time! 

Then off to Art Department. 

I'm going to class EVERYDAY this week, no more skipping or not going to class... I'm so terrible at going to class. It's pathetic. 

Coffee time, I'll write more later. 

Why do I have such a hard time going to class?? Where is Suzanna when I need her on AIM?? Why does my throat hurt so badly, and I can feel a cough coming along. I have skipped one class yesterday, I'm most likely going to skip two today... what is my problem?? 

I'm going back home tomorrow, baby road-trip for the night. Haircut and color. Yesss. My Mother is going to make me fresh vegetables... oh how I'm excited! I get to see Leah and Jagger and Chaney... and I get Starbucks coffee again in my life, well for a little bit. 

I'm excited that I get to sleep in this weekend. I've got to paint all Sunday, but I still get to rest some. Free food on Saturday, money money for selling my ticket.

I gotta start working out and getting in shape. I'm disgusting. I should shower today too.

I am going to class at 11 though. i must. I have got to get on the ball with going to class, it's October? 

Weekend

It's weird when you have a birthday and over 3/4 of your "friends" don't say shit to you. It's cool.. I understand we are all busy and what not, but a text with just two words on it doesn't take up that much of your time. 

Oh well. Thank you to all of you who did say something to me. It really mean't so much more than you think. 

Starting a new week. Let's have a good one okay? Let's be productive, stay healthy and stay happy. Even though the weather is gross. 

I went to Austin this weekend, I saw so many good bands.

Bon Iver live... im speechless. Completely. Justin Vernon is so talented it makes me sick.

I'll write a longer post later on today, I've got to head to class now. 

Much love to all.

Hey remember when you used to make fun of me for writing depressing posts on here.. haha eating popcorn watching movies all alone. 

Geez.

I'm about to go get dinner, alone. 

I'm pathetic.

Study night with Adam in the library. This is going to be a bad idea, he is just too much of a funny guy. He's like a big teddy bear that is always making me laugh. 

High Point Coffee .... or University Library...

Decisions.. decisions... I CAN'T DECIDE. I may go to the library because its quiet. I just won't sit near Adam.

I'm going on a little road trip to Austin tomorrow. 

Acl for my birthday, oh goodness I'm excited.

I shall call you when Bon Iver plays.

Blood Bank.

I'll share all my stories when I return. 

Love.  

Anxiety kickin' in...

I'm stressed.

Also feeling a bit down, maybe I'm just tired? 

I hope so. 

This next week is going to be insanely busy. 

Praying a lot this week for strength.

I've been doing a terrible job with keeping in touch with the big Man upstairs lately. I don't know if it's moving to a new town, or worrying about too many things. I've been distracted by so many things here.. which is good because this time last year I wasn't which forces depression to move in. I just don't know why I feel so down right now.

There is a cute little fluffy dog asleep next to me, he's a cutie. I think my typing is keeping him up. 

I should go back to my room and sleep. I didn't get any painting done tonight. 

I need to get focused asap.

Tomorrow will be good. 

Good Morning,

there's a man outside my window working on the outside... he's hanging from a rope. Hmm.. that's safe?? I guess. I'm sitting on my bed, listening to Elbow, reading the paper and drinking my cup of coffee before I head to class. I'm starting to exercise more often.. hopefully. Haha I did yesterday. I must today! Don't have much time, Wednesdays are always my longest days.. and Mondays. Anyways.. must get on to class. 

Does anyone read blogs anymore? I feel like it's all about twitter now and facebook.

Blah.

Good morning. 

Holiday

I've got to be more productive with my spare time, this is ridiculous. 

I want to start exercising.

I want to start reading.

I want to start being organized.

I will never be clean enough, I should shower more often.

I want to do more art. 

I know I have the ability to be creative, it's the part about doing it.. that gets me.

I want to focus more on school and art rather than unnecessary events and problems.

I want to journal more.

These are a few things I need to work on, badly. Just give me a little time... I'll check them off.

1 dollar coffee, a granola bar, and an apple. Good morning Sunday. I have so much art to do tonight and tomorrow afternoon. I am a procrastinator. 

Saturday Morning Coffee

While sitting on a giant couch, I pick up my large cup of coffee.. contemplating whether I should shower today or not. Although, I should because I have to go to work today at 2 oclock, but still dont want too. I slept on the couch last night... with this cutie:   His name is Jagger, he is a little bigger than this but still so adorable. 

Today is Saturday... a week ago, I left for New York. I had a wonderful trip, minus the fact.. I was sick the whole week. I had no voice, slightly no energy and a permanent headache. Well now, Im back home.. getting back to normal life. I move for school in one week. Im ready for things in my life to get rolling. Something new. I need to get exercise. Badly. Im getting off subject. Oh, for the record.. second cup of coffee. I still have an awful cough. I need some good medicine that will make my cough go away forever.  I dont feel well at all. Oh! Im painting in front of my church tomorrow morning. I always love it, but some times its nerve-racking because its in front of thousands of people. Ah 

Ill write another post later. I need to go take more meds. 

Wish me luck.

Thursday Morning..

The rain is coming once again. It has rained everyday this week, which is fine. I like this weather. It's Thursday and I'm done with school! Now I have, 2 weeks until I start school.. again. Which is fine, a new school.. a new year.. a new town. I'm excited. I'm heading to New York on Saturday. So all you who live there who read this, let me know! I'll be there for about a week.. walking around and visiting friends. I just had brunch, about to go shower.. work at 2:00. I bet it will rain the whole time and I will have maybe 1 customer. I'm so excited to get out of town for a bit. Nervous because I never fly. Oh for all of you who live close by, I am painting August 9th.. at my church.. for the whole church. Over a thousand people.. woo! I'm just going to listen to Bon Iver and drink tea all afternoon, while it rains.. at work. Love love.

I haven't posted in quite sometime. I apologize. I went to Cleveland this past Saturday, I drove 2 hours in my bathing suit through the delta. I listened to 2 mixed cd's I made, all the windows were down. It was the perfect feeling. Once I made it to Cleveland, I picked up lunch for Rachel and I and went to her house on Lamar Street, she lives with two of the most amazingly talented people. Once we at lunch, we put towels in the backyard and set up a sprinkler that costs about 6 dollars. We fell asleep while laying out in the back yard. I think we got tan. It was incredibly hot. After that, we went inside and watched movie after movie.. all afternoon. We fell asleep again.. smoked too many cigarettes. Finally, we ordered pizza due to the laziness that overruled our afternoon. We drank pbr all night long with Austin. He drank red wine. Rachel and I feel hard asleep at 3. Slept all morning and afternoon Sunday. Went and got Ice drinks and sat on the couch and watched You've Got Mail. I left and didn't want too leave. I love that town. Now I'm back to real life, fighting with my mother just makes the day that much better. 

I'll be back. 

Sundays.

Last night, I helped my good good friend Chaz pack for New York.. not only was it incredibly sad but it made me realize so much about my own life. Chaz played in a band called the Weeks and they had their last show 2 nights ago.. so so much fun. We are going to miss him a lot, but I'm so happy for him.

 I need a coffee date with Suzanna and Leah.. and talk about life for hours upon hours. I'm sitting on the couch right now with my brother, both of us on our Macs, watching The Rachel Zoe Project... or its more like I'm watching it, my brother is Skyping with his girlfriend. I need Leah to wake up so I can go over to her house. Tonight is dinner with the big Esperanza family! I hope at least. I need to go work out, this post is so scattered. Well, needless to say I'm done with school.. I've been working everyday at the stores, and I'm house sitting for my boss this week. I have so much on my brain and I think I want to move to New York in 2 years. I need coffee, diet coke is just not doings its job this morning. Please help.

I shall write later.

Almost there almost there almost there. 

I should be productive, but I'm not. I need a shower.

I need sleep, I need some water... I've been watching the Sigur Ros documentary since about Sunday afternoon. What has gotten into me this week? I'm leaving Thursday. I'm ready. Only 3 more weeks of school.. then I'm done! Well done living here.. I'm going to ride my bike tomorrow.

Art show with my friend Jitin.

Unmotivated. Lethargic. No Appetite. Sleep.

Some things amaze me.. good ways and bad ways.

 I still love you, know that please.

Wednesday

I have no class today, I have no class Friday either. My painting teacher / Intermediate drawing teacher is in Portland. I'm so ready to leave this place. I'm over it. I have 0 motivation for anything at this point here. It's getting more and more difficult to wake up and actually go to class no. The student art show is going on next week, did I put anything in it? No. Because I didn't get my stuff together so it actually looked decent. I'm headed home tomorrow which means.. donuts and coffee with my best friend Leah, Arts Eats & Beats in Fondren Thursday night, then house sitting all weekend for Chaney and Leah as well as my own family. Haha, weekend of chill for me. I also am working the store Saturday which I'm very happy about, I love working there. I miss Jackson and my life as it was back in high school. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful for what I have now, but whew.. I loved my little phase of life back then. Oh well, hey wish me luck.. I'll soon find out about my portfolio review in a few weeks. Which equals scholarship money. It's cool if I don't get it, just awaiting my letter. Thanks Oxford, Mississippi. Anyways, I have a paper due tomorrow morning and I'm sitting here wasting time on this thing. I don't have much art to put up at all actually. I just completed a painting but I can't put it up because its being given as a gift .. so it's a surprise! Anyways, got much to look forward to this month. Thank GAH April is here... March was starting to drag along... seriously. 

Anyways.. have a wonderful week. Twilight is out on dvd, I sugge

st you read all 4 amazing books and then go watch the movie. I'm on the 3rd book and its getting more and more difficult to put it down and get back to realization of life.  

Ryan Adams was so great this weekend.

So great

Sitting in my room, eating peanut M&Ms, should be doing something productive. I've watched 3 movies tonight, ate popcorn, and drove to go get some vanilla coke. What a diet! Oh well, its Friday.. I get to splurge a little. As of right now, I'm watching Cast Away... seen this movie way too many times. I cry every time. I'm pathetic. I should be studying or working on art work that is due. But I'm not. I also need to shower and do yoga before I go to sleep tonight. Ugh. Tomorrow I'm heading to my grandmothers house way in the delta, yet I'm already smack dab in it now. Oh well. The weather has been dreadfully awful today and its supposedly is going to be cold and rainy the rest of the weekend. Hmmm awesome. Next week I leave Friday for Birmingham.. which means I get to see my brother, his adorable girlfriend, and Ryan Adams. Oh how I'm excited. But not excited about packing. Its my weakness. Ugh. Anyways, going to find something else to watch besides this movie. 

These were some small pictures of my new collection of small watercolor paintings. I really want to find some type of cleansing process that I can do for like a month. I want to get all the gross stuff out and be clean! Why must life be so difficult sometimes? I don't know where my heart lies. this stinks. Its 1:11 and I'm tired but not super tired. I should sleep soon. I'm already yawning, ah! Alright. Bedtime for sure. Night. 

I ate so much terrible terrible terrible food today.

Oh gosh. Back on track tomorrow. 

Today, I woke up early to go get coffee down the street. I stayed in bed for an hour past my alarm awakening. Its a nice day, not too sunny out but still feels nice. I've started to read more as I spend my last few months in this town. I sleep more as well. Its nice to get a lot of rest. Library time was well spent searching for art books for my paper. I'm about to head to design class, sometimes I feel like this class takes all day. It is a four hour class but I still feel as if it takes over my whole day. Anyways, reading more tonight and I need more sleep. I never get enough sleep when I'm here. I shall work on that. 

Dancing

I had fun this weekend. I'm glad I got to see all of the people I have missed.